FACEBOOK GROUP: The Transspeciated Canine Society
CATEGORY: Common Interest – Pets & Animals
DESCRIPTION: Prof. Shannan E. Rouss, BA, MFA (Founder, Director; Chief Lepidopterist) and Prof. Martin J. Marks, BA, MA, MFA; (Co-Director; Head Marine Biologist) started this group as part of their efforts to study and isolate the impact of Transspeciated Canine Disorder (TCD), a terrible affliction that affects nearly one out of every 500,000,000 dogs worldwide.
“In the short time that I’ve lived with Zooey,” says Prof. Marks, “this poor doggie’s been alternating between the delusions that she’s a spider monkey, a carrier pigeon, an Irish wolfhound, a porpoise, an aardvark, a honeybee, a bull shark, a Shetland pony, and a boa constrictor.”
Prof. Rouss, under the visible emotional strain that affects the families of TCD sufferers, pumps her fist into the air, onto which Zooey perches (she now thinks she’s a falcon), before tearfully declaring, “You don’t think it’s real until it happens to you, until this terrible disease strikes one of those closest to you. Oh fate most cru-el! Oh unhappy world!”
Indeed, besides the high emotional toll of TCD on its sufferers and their families, the expenses of the disease alone prove to be exorbitant. “Nobody really understands the monetary impact on a family,” explains Prof. Marks. “We have to keep the fridge stocked with bananas, honeysuckles, live krill, bales of hay, baby mice, chum, and Veuve Clicquot. About a month ago, Zooey spent an entire week convinced that she was a penguin. We had to rent a Zamboni to ice over the living room, and I missed three days of work protecting her from a sea lion which was, in fact, the Yorkshire Terrier in apartment #8F, another sufferer of TCD.”
Please join this group to support the efforts of Professors Marks and Rouss (who is not only the Society’s founder but also – perhaps further adding to the confusion – Zooey’s mother) to alleviate the suffering of TCD victims, their friends and families. With your support, we will one day cure the world of this disease. We will one day be able to see young Zooey Rouss frolicking through some golden meadow, happily declaring, “Arf! ARF!” as she jumps up and catches a Frisbee.
Monetary donations may be sent via paypal to firstname.lastname@example.org. Non tax-deductible. The Transspeciated Canine Society of America is not covered under IRS Section 501 (c)(3).