86 Reasons, in the first Two Paragraphs, as to why I couldn’t read The DWP (_evil _ears _rada).

DWP 5Over the years, more than a few friends have asked me what I thought of The DWP (Ed Note: I’ve decided to use the first initials of any books whose authors earned enough advance money, 1. to hire very large people who could inflict bodily harm upon my person, and, 2. to not suffer any repercussions for the aforementioned.)

To begin with a preamble: I’m certainly not one to judge the reading tastes of others. Whenever a new HP came out, I’d seal myself in my apartment until Hogwarts was safe once more. Besides which, a whole hell of a lot of people not only read this book, they bought this book, thereby funding all of the W.S. Merwins and V.S. Naipuls of the world (apparently, it only funded writers whose names began with two initials. I wonder what M.J. Marks would sound like…).

End of Preamble. I’ve never been able to read past the second paragraph of The DWP. Whenever I explained this to friends who looooved the book, they’d call me a literary snob, and ask me to give one good reason why I couldn’t read anything halfway past the first full page.

 And so, in the spirit of one-upsmanship, click below (and then hit a few more magnify button-thingies) for 86 reasons, representing only my stylistic hang-ups, as to why I couldn’t read the DWP.

DWP Full

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Filed under Very Close Readings//

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