- Complaints meant to self-aggrandize; transportation delays, work schedule, lines outside parties, &c.
- Geographical locations meant to impress; usually tropical.
- Rap lyrics demonstrating street cred, with either implied or explicit dramatic irony.
- Declarations, vague and indecipherable in nature, meant to express your definitive comprehension of the universe, but in a way so profound that only you will understand; usually directed towards exes.
- A blog plug.
- An @-mention, indicating that you are on Twitter.
- Unpunctuated, poorly punctuated, or un-capitalized quasi-thoughts containing acronyms.
- References to little known and oftentimes short-lived 1980s sitcoms, animated series, or musical acts.
Please note that this is only a working list. A fuller diagram may soon follow, given that I have enough drive to think/draw/scan one up. In the interim, feel free to use the comment box for any examples (be sure to include the appropriate category number), additions, or confessions.