Facebook Status Etiquette// An Anatomy of an Update.

  1. Complaints meant to self-aggrandize; transportation delays, work schedule, lines outside parties, &c.
  2. Geographical locations meant to impress; usually tropical.
  3. Rap lyrics demonstrating street cred, with either implied or explicit dramatic irony.
  4. Declarations, vague and indecipherable in nature, meant to express your definitive comprehension of the universe, but in a way so profound that only you will understand; usually directed towards exes.
  5. A blog plug.
  6. An @-mention, indicating that you are on Twitter.
  7. Unpunctuated, poorly punctuated, or un-capitalized quasi-thoughts containing acronyms.
  8. References to little known and oftentimes short-lived 1980s sitcoms, animated series, or musical acts.

Please note that this is only a working list. A fuller diagram may soon follow, given that I have enough drive to think/draw/scan one up. In the interim, feel free to use the comment box for any examples (be sure to include the appropriate category number), additions, or confessions.

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Filed under Apocrypha Electronica//

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