Our Dear and Beloved Comrades!
Salutations to each of you! You might have heard yesterday’s news about our company, the great and munificent Face-Book! Early in the day, representatives from our business office met with the DJIA — along with the IMF, ICM, CAA, LOL, ROTFL, LMAO, and the New York Health & Racquet Club — and we all reached the same conclusion: The time has come, after eight long and arduous yet glorious years, for us to offer, publicly and initially, an Initial Public Offering, henceforth to be abbreviated SIW (Suck It, Winklevosses).
Some within the Face-Book family may bemoan such a decision. The naysayers, as naysayers so often do, may say nay. And they may bemoan, too, like the bemoaners. We are a Silicon Valley company, after all, located in humble, downtown Menlo Park. I, our all-knowing leader, wear New Balances. How could we possibly be worth so much? Read more at Esquire.