Dear [Our Child, the Recent College Graduate],
We can’t tell you how proud we were to see you up on that stage, receiving your diploma! Now that you’ve graduated, you’re in a world filled with so very many wonderful, wonderful opportunities! This world, unfortunately, is reserved for people who graduated before 2005. Naturally, you’ll need to move back home. Read more at VanityFair.com.
Source: Vanity Fair.