Ladies and gentlemen, my fellow Americans. Remember me? That’s right, it’s President Bill Clinton. No spooky holograms, no wooden chairs. But enough about Paul Ryan.
What an honor it is to be back here tonight, in front of you, as plain old Bill, president before that other guy who nobody — and I mean nobody — wants to talk about, especially the Republicans. And remember the ’90s? That wonderful time when I was president, when everybody was watching The Real World, doing the “Macarena,” earning heaping gobs of cash, when our biggest worry was whether or not we’d be spending our budget surplus on tax breaks or NATO Allied Command Operations air strikes against Ken Starr and the old Office of the Independent Council. Back then, we didn’t even have cell phones to call those things in. Now we have cell phones and iPhones and GPS and TiVo and all sorts of other newfangled devices. It boggles the mind. Read more at The Huffington Post.