Tag Archives: Comedy

HUFFINGTON POST: Thanksgiving: A Questionnaire for Dinner Guests.

We’re so happy you’ve decided to spend Thanksgiving dinner with us! In order to ensure the dinner proceeds as smoothly as possible, we ask that you please take a moment to complete the following questionnaire. Mark your answers clearly with a Number 2 pencil, and return this form to your hosts at your earliest convenience. Gobble, gobble!

I. Background

□ Male
□ Female
□ It’s complicated

Marital status:
□ Single
□ Married
□ Divorced
□ To be resolved during the course of the dinner

 Read more at The Huffington Post.

Comments Off on HUFFINGTON POST: Thanksgiving: A Questionnaire for Dinner Guests.

Filed under A Few Things I have Written Elsewhere//, The Huffington Post.


An Open Letter from Colonel Gaddafi to the American People.

Text Martin Marks  Illustration Brian Fee


To the Good Citizens of the United States of America,

Over the past several days, I’ve taken time out of what has proven to be an increasingly hectic, NATO-warplane-filled schedule to address my people as to the geo-political benefits of serving as human shields, and to write your Congress a heartfelt little thank-you note for their continued support. But, over the weekend, I realized something quite shocking.  It has been a long time since you and I last spoke! An inexcusably long time! For this, I must apologize. You must trust me when I say that it is quite a challenge to run a modern democracy—there are so many elaborate costumes!

Now, you might be a teeny-tiny, eensy-weensy bit angry at me. A lot of things have happened over the years, things that might be termed by some as being—how to put this?—“explosive” in nature, and perhaps—though nothing can be proven—originating from our country, kept happening. Please know that the people responsible for these deeds—certainly not anyone that we know—will most assuredly and decisively be punished, if they haven’t been already, which, undoubtedly, they already have. Read more at The Huffington Post.

Leave a comment

Filed under A Few Things I have Written Elsewhere//, The Huffington Post.

THE NEW YORKER: E-Mail Auto-Response.


FROM THE OCTOBER 25, 2010 issue of The New Yorker, a Shouts & Murmurs entitled “E-Mail Auto-Response.” You’ll find it on newsstands and in mailboxes this week; it may also be seen in all of its internety goodness here.

Source: The New Yorker.

Comments Off on THE NEW YORKER: E-Mail Auto-Response.

Filed under A Few Things I have Written Elsewhere//, The New Yorker.

Charlie Chaplin sings… Something.

MOST FAMOUS FOR HIS CHARACTER the Little Tramp, Charlie Chaplin believed that “talking” films were just a passing fad. The 1936 comedy classic Modern Times was one of the last silent films, and the only time we hear the Little Tramp’s voice as he, at the behest of the film’s heroine, an orphan played by Chaplin’s wife Paulette Goddard, performs a song and dance number to stall the cops. The performance works, but don’t try to understand the lyrics – they’re a nonsensical pastiche of several languages, revealing exactly how unimportant words sometimes are.

Leave a comment

Filed under Einen Kleinen Nacht Musik//

HUFFINGTON POST: Bushenschadenfreude.

On Friday, the Wall Street Journal’s Anthony Paletta, in his article “George W. Bush Is Out of the Picture,” made note of the fact that very few critics had latched onto the newly released film adaptation of Cormac McCarthy’s The Road for any references to the policies of the previous presidential administration.

“For eight [very, very long] years,” wrote Mr. Paletta (with just a smattering of my own words added), “reviewers could be relied upon to construe almost any mildly dark artistic output as a sure comment on the Bush-era cruelty, greed, or amorality.”

To a large extent, my esteemed colleague is right. For the better part of eight years, blue-staters did make it their job to litter conversations at hoity-toity cocktail parties (and then, fancy-shmancy unemployment lines) with jokes, references, and, yes, peculiarly extended film metaphors at the expense of our former president. Read more at The Huffington Post.

Comments Off on HUFFINGTON POST: Bushenschadenfreude.

Filed under A Few Things I have Written Elsewhere//, The Huffington Post.