Tag Archives: Comedy

A Note of Thanksgiving, to my One Native American Friend!

My dear one Native American friend (Charly),

I was watching Addams Family Values the other night, and got to the part – I’m certain you remember it – where a young Christina Ricci acts in Christine Baranski and Peter McNicol’s mid-July Thanksgiving play (apparently, Camp Chippewa follows the Greek Orthodox calendar), and, as the scene progressed, I began to think how amazing it must be to have a young Ms. Ricci perform, on your peoples’ behalf, an improvisation within a play within a movie, where she so adeptly captures your socio-cultural history as it pertains to the spitroasting of Pilgrims – “Pilgrim,” as you’re well aware, being ancient Cherokee for “the other other white meat” – on an open flame! Not since the Village People pranced around on stage has there been such a Culturally Relevant moment for the Native Americans! What memories you must have had! How proud you must have been!

But then, I started thinking. Christina Ricci’s done her part for Native American culture…. What have I ever done to show my Pocahontas, Rachel, just how much she, as a representative of her people, means to me? Continue reading

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HUFFINGTON POST: Thanksgiving: A Questionnaire for Dinner Guests.

We’re so happy you’ve decided to spend Thanksgiving dinner with us! In order to ensure the dinner proceeds as smoothly as possible, we ask that you please take a moment to complete the following questionnaire. Mark your answers clearly with a Number 2 pencil, and return this form to your hosts at your earliest convenience. Gobble, gobble!

I. Background

Gender:
□ Male
□ Female
□ It’s complicated

Marital status:
□ Single
□ Married
□ Divorced
□ To be resolved during the course of the dinner

 Read more at The Huffington Post.

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HUFFINGTON POST: We Are Friends.

An Open Letter from Colonel Gaddafi to the American People.

Text Martin Marks  Illustration Brian Fee

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To the Good Citizens of the United States of America,

Over the past several days, I’ve taken time out of what has proven to be an increasingly hectic, NATO-warplane-filled schedule to address my people as to the geo-political benefits of serving as human shields, and to write your Congress a heartfelt little thank-you note for their continued support. But, over the weekend, I realized something quite shocking.  It has been a long time since you and I last spoke! An inexcusably long time! For this, I must apologize. You must trust me when I say that it is quite a challenge to run a modern democracy—there are so many elaborate costumes!

Now, you might be a teeny-tiny, eensy-weensy bit angry at me. A lot of things have happened over the years, things that might be termed by some as being—how to put this?—“explosive” in nature, and perhaps—though nothing can be proven—originating from our country, kept happening. Please know that the people responsible for these deeds—certainly not anyone that we know—will most assuredly and decisively be punished, if they haven’t been already, which, undoubtedly, they already have. Read more at The Huffington Post.

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Facebook Group: The Transspeciated Canine Society.

Zooey “Zoetrope” Rouss – Canine, Bovine, Simian, Friend.

FACEBOOK GROUP: The Transspeciated Canine Society

CATEGORY: Common Interest – Pets & Animals

DESCRIPTION: Prof. Shannan E. Rouss, BA, MFA (Founder, Director; Chief Lepidopterist) and Prof. Martin J. Marks, BA, MA, MFA; (Co-Director; Head Marine Biologist) started this group as part of their efforts to study and isolate the impact of Transspeciated Canine Disorder (TCD), a terrible affliction that affects nearly one out of every 500,000,000 dogs worldwide.

“In the short time that I’ve lived with Zooey,” says Prof. Marks, “this poor doggie’s been alternating between the delusions that she’s a spider monkey, a carrier pigeon, an Irish wolfhound, a porpoise, an aardvark, a honeybee, a bull shark, a Shetland pony, and a boa constrictor.”

Prof. Rouss, under the visible emotional strain that affects the families of TCD sufferers, pumps her fist into the air, onto which Zooey perches (she now thinks she’s a falcon), before tearfully declaring, “You don’t think it’s real until it happens to you, until this terrible disease strikes one of those closest to you. Oh fate most cru-el! Oh unhappy world!” Continue reading

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THE NEW YORKER: E-Mail Auto-Response.

 

FROM THE OCTOBER 25, 2010 issue of The New Yorker, a Shouts & Murmurs entitled “E-Mail Auto-Response.” You’ll find it on newsstands and in mailboxes this week; it may also be seen in all of its internety goodness here.

Source: The New Yorker.

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Charlie Chaplin sings… Something.

MOST FAMOUS FOR HIS CHARACTER the Little Tramp, Charlie Chaplin believed that “talking” films were just a passing fad. The 1936 comedy classic Modern Times was one of the last silent films, and the only time we hear the Little Tramp’s voice as he, at the behest of the film’s heroine, an orphan played by Chaplin’s wife Paulette Goddard, performs a song and dance number to stall the cops. The performance works, but don’t try to understand the lyrics – they’re a nonsensical pastiche of several languages, revealing exactly how unimportant words sometimes are.

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HUFFINGTON POST: Bushenschadenfreude.

On Friday, the Wall Street Journal’s Anthony Paletta, in his article “George W. Bush Is Out of the Picture,” made note of the fact that very few critics had latched onto the newly released film adaptation of Cormac McCarthy’s The Road for any references to the policies of the previous presidential administration.

“For eight [very, very long] years,” wrote Mr. Paletta (with just a smattering of my own words added), “reviewers could be relied upon to construe almost any mildly dark artistic output as a sure comment on the Bush-era cruelty, greed, or amorality.”

To a large extent, my esteemed colleague is right. For the better part of eight years, blue-staters did make it their job to litter conversations at hoity-toity cocktail parties (and then, fancy-shmancy unemployment lines) with jokes, references, and, yes, peculiarly extended film metaphors at the expense of our former president. Read more at The Huffington Post.

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